Forgive, Don’t Judge, and Love to Rebuild Trust in Your Marriage
Trust is a key element needed in any marriage or relationship. When you commit to sharing your life with another person, you need to know that you can rely on him or her. They should share the same values and have similar beliefs as you, which helps build trust. Lost trust in any marriage or relationship can affect love between the two, which can quickly turn a marriage upside down.
When they decide to trust again, there is hope reborn.It will take a lot of work, but here are just 11 steps to help rebuild the trust in your marriage:
Forgive
Forgiving your spouse for something that has put a strain on your marriage, is probably the hardest thing to do. Look at yourself and ask yourself, “Why can not I forgive?” This is a question that needs to be addressed.
The reason most couples don’t forgive one another is that they want to stay safe in the feeling that unforgiving gives them.
We don’t want to come out of the negative way we feel about our spouse because we are angry or resentful. If you want your marriage to be free from these unhealthy emotions, you will certainly need to forgive one another.
Stop Making the Same Mistakes
If a marriage’s trust has been broken, then most likely someone in the marriage either went astray or did something to break the trust in the marriage.
Whatever that error was, that spouse needs to put it behind them and give it up. I am positive that most would like to stop erring against their spouse. Because the spouse cannot be expected to forgive, if the problem never stops.
Communicate Feelings
Ask yourself, when was the last time you had an intimate conversation with your spouse? Don’t hold back your feelings, it’s healthy to share your emotions with the person closest to you. When we use our feelings productively, we are communicating in a good way that will get the issue on the right track to being solved. By trusting in what your spouse says, you will eventually rebuild that trust.
Intimate conversation involves getting close to each other, through your words and feelings. This helps to bring back the bonds of the marriage when we express our feelings properly and honestly.
Accept Your Spouse
Acceptance is extremely important for any successful marriage to successfully run its course. Without acceptance of one another, there will never be trust. The term “trust,” needs to be validated in the marriage. Once you have broken the bonds of trust, you need to forgive and accept.
These two things go hand-in-hand. To sincerely forgive means you have decided to rethink your whole attitude towards your spouse.
There is no more room for berating your spouse about something they did in the past, especially if you have decided to forgive completely.
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Discover Purpose Together
A spiritually neglected marriage has a high tendency of ending badly. It’s really that simple. Today, too many couples go their separate ways and instead of growing together in the union, they grow apart damaging the intimacy between them. But a very healthy marriage involves a spiritual togetherness that nothing can separate. Find things that you and your spouse are passionate about and achieve them together.
Honesty
Honesty is one of the building blocks to create trust. No secrets. We all know that keeping secrets and being dishonest, even if it is about something as small as hiding a pack of cigarettes, can create differences.
Dishonesty is a common marital problem, that doesn’t erase itself with time. Admitting to your mistakes or errors, sincerely apologizing and making a genuine effort to not repeat it again, will definitely take you one step closer to reconnecting with your spouse.
Give it Time
Everything in life takes time. Begin to show your spouse that you trust them. Prove to them that you have stopped working against the marriage, so that you can gain back this trust again.
It is time to take responsibility. Communicate properly and trust will be built back in the marriage.
Don’t Keep Secrets
In marriage, secrets are as dangerous as lies. Normally, your spouse should have a master key to every part of your life.
Never have a conversation you wouldn’t want them to hear or go somewhere you wouldn’t want them to know about. Be careful with yourself so you don’t have secrets.Keep the Love Alive
Keep loving each other and use the power of love and grace to bring wholeness and healing to your marriage or relationship.
Practice the Three A’s
AFFECTION, ATTENTION, AND APPRECIATION DAILY
Show your partner how much you love and appreciate them in big and small ways every day. Your partner needs the opportunity to work through things with you. Be emotionally present. Moreover, physical presence can help to counteract your partner’s feelings that you don’t value him or her.
So, the bottom line is you need to be around!
Don’t Judge
Every time your partner tells you something personal, like a major mistake he or she made at work, it’s a critical moment that can either strengthen your intimacy or deteriorate it. If you criticize this behavior or dismiss their feelings, he or she will think twice about confiding in you next time.
