how to protect yourself from an emotional affairs

Here are several warning signs that you may be having an emotional affair:

• You are withdrawing from your spouse.
• You are preoccupied and daydream about your friend more and more.
• You are not interested in being intimate with your spouse, either emotionally or sexually.
• The amount of time you and your spouse spend together is less.
• When confronted about the apparent emotional affair, you respond, “We’re just friends.”
• You find yourself anticipating when you can communicate or be with your friend again. Alone time together is important to you.
• You are sharing your thoughts, feelings, and problems with your friend instead of your spouse.
• You find reasons to give your friend personal gifts.
• Your friend seems to understand you better than your spouse does.
• You are keeping your friendship a secret from your spouse.
  

   Are You Having an Emotional Affair?

  If you answer “yes” to more than 3 of these questions, you are courting disaster in your marriage by being in an emotional affair.

  • Are you experiencing repetitive hostility and conflict in your marriage?
  • Do you feel an emotional distance from your spouse?
  • Do you find it difficult to talk with your spouse?
  • Are you sharing more with your friend than you are with your spouse?
  • Do you think your friend understands you better than your spouse?
  • Are you sexually attracted to your friend?
  • Is the phrase, “We’re just friends” your rationalization for your close friendship?
  • Does your spouse know about your friendship or is your friendship a secret?
  • Do you look forward to being with your friend more than being with your spouse?
  • When you talk to your spouse about your day, you never seem to mention your interactions with this friend

  Affair-proofing Your Marriage
  

  You can affair-proof your marriage by working together to have a relationship based on friendship and trust.

  Here are some suggestions on how to build that foundation and keys to protecting your marriage from an emotional affair.

  • Plan on living a balanced life with one another.
  • Have dates with each other and create ways to have fun together.
  • Don’t let irritations build up. Learn how to have healthy conflict in your marriage.
  • Communicate on a daily basis with each other. Talk about practical issues, plans, events, and personal feelings. The little things to talk about are as important as the bigger issues.
  • Be supportive of one another.
  • Show respect and mutuality for each other.
  • Always try to repair hurts quickly and genuinely. An apology goes much further than trying to be right.
    

    Quotes About Emotional Affairs

    

     

    Marriage experts generally agree that an emotional affair is harmful to a marriage. Here are some quotes from marriage experts studying the impact of infidelity on marriage.

    “The new infidelity is between people who unwittingly form deep, passionate connections before realizing that they’ve crossed the line from platonic friendship into romantic love. Infidelity is any emotional or sexual intimacy that violates trust.”  author of “Not Just Friends: Protect Your Relationship from Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of Betrayal”

    “It’s easy to deny the seriousness of an emotional affair — but it can be extremely threatening to a marriage.

    “If there is ongoing interaction with someone with whom you have been very honest in sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings, this can generate a feeling of closeness that stimulates even more sharing—and more closeness, and on and on. Eventually, this relationship can become extremely close and an emotional attachment develops, causing serious damage to the marriage—whether or not it ever becomes “sexual.

    “Emotional affairs are not any less hurtful than physical affairs. Actually, they pose much more threat to you marriage than a physical betrayal.